Sex Can Wait, Masturbate

Vitruvian Man, 1492, Leonardo DaVinci’s sketch of a naked man.The statistics for pre-marital sex are sad, and shocking. In the general population there is a veritable explosion of immorality, so much so that people have absolutely no idea they are doing anything wrong, or harmful. So prevalent is this immorality that when comedian Steve Harvey suggests in his book Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man that women they wait for at least 90 days before being sexually intimate he is thought of as giving revolutionary, life changing advice. He didn’t even say wait till marriage. He just said wait for 90 days to see if the man is worthy of receiving the gift of ultimate intimacy.

The consequences of all this immorality are severe. Too many are experiencing far too much far too soon. It is both dangerous, and damaging, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Teenagers simply are not mature enough to handle the consequences. Sexual intimacy is a very powerful thing. It is best reserved for those with the maturity to deal with the effects. And definitely needs to be enjoyed in the context of the permanent lifelong covenant relationship called marriage.

Some Sad and Shocking Statistics

Hhere are some sad and shocking statistics:

  • The average age at which a person becomes sexually active is 16 years.
  • Some surveys have shown that 63% of young people between ages 14 to 21 are sexually active; others that 70% will become sexually active before graduation from high school.
  • Sexually active girls in high school graduate have had an average of six sex partners.
  • These young people are putting themselves at great risk. There is the ever present possibility of pregnancy, and an early pregnancy, especially out of wedlock, is a serious life-changing event. Youth is gone in an instant.
  • And there is a horrible risk of serious diseases, such as: Vaginal Infections such as Trichomoniasis (also known as "trichomonas vaginitis" or "trich") and Bacterial Vaginosis (BV), Syphilis, Gonorrhea, Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), Genital Warts (Venereal Warts; Condyloma; HPV), Genital Herpes, Chlamydia, Chancroid, and of course AIDS (Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome).

The “sophisticated” ladies on The View can scoff at abstinence all they want, but a married man and woman who have never had sex with anyone else have never had a STD.

But, the greatest evil of all is that sex outside of marriage takes that which is holy and pure and desecrates it.


Ishould not need to say this, but the Church of Jesus Christ is called to set a standard against all of this, and hold that standard high. But sad to say we are living in an era in which the world has influenced the church more than the church has influenced the world, and in ways that are detrimental to our witness and our spiritual health. Rather than obey the command to be the salt and light of the earth, we have allowed ourselves to be polluted by impurity. This is perhaps nowhere more evident than in the area of sexuality.

Many churches have young couples sitting in the pews who are living together without the benefit of marriage. The old fashioned term was “living in sin.” Not only was this term accurate, it was Biblical. The shame that was once associated with it was a positive deterrent. It is something of which to be ashamed. The woman should be ashamed that she values herself so little, and the so-called man should be ashamed that he is willing to get his jollies by doing damage to himself and someone he professes to “love.” Love, after all, wants what is best for the other person. Immorality is not good for anyone.

And there are many others who, while not cohabiting, think it perfectly natural and normal to be having regular sexual relationships. They may not advertise it, but most people know it is happening. The statistics for pre-marital sex among “Christians” is almost the same as among unbelievers. My friend, this ought not to be!

Never mind the physical, emotional, and social damage as already described. What about our relationship with God? Over and over again we are told that sexual intimacy outside the bonds of a heterosexual marriage is forbidden in the Word of God. (Hey, we don’t have to like that it says that, but we cannot change what it says and means to match modern sexual mores. We have to accept that God has His reasons.)

It is sadly ironic that many in the church take a stand against a private sexual practice that does no harm to our morals, our emotions, or bodies, our ethics, or our walk with God, all the while ignoring the very real danger of actually sexual intimacy between couples not united in the holy bonds of matrimony.

The Word of God

Yes, society recognizes neither sin nor shame in immoral non-marital sexual relationships. But God regards such things in a very serious light. So much so that if you decide to have immoral sex you cease to be a Christian. It is bad enough that is it so dangerous, and damaging, but it is damning as well. Are these statements too strong? Well, how else would you interpret the verse that says fornicators have no place in the Kingdom of God?

1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, nor sodomites, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit the kingdom of God.

No place! They will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Now, consider the serious instructions and warnings of the following verses.

Ephesians 5:3 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; (NKJV)

1 Thessalonians 4:3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; NKJV (the King James uses the word fornication.)

1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body. (KJV)

Acts 15:20 But that we write unto them, that they abstain from pollutions of idols, and from fornication, and from things strangled, and from blood. (KJV)

It also says that those who continually commit immoral acts take us all into their bed of sin, and not only defile themselves but defile the church as well. In fact this is such a serious thing that those who do such deeds need to be strongly warned, and if they refuse to repent they are to be “turned over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh” and removed from the fellowship of the church. That means they are no longer welcome. And we are not to share a meal with them, or continue to associate with them in any way. Strong stuff I know, but serious sin requires an equally serious response.

Have I gone off my rocker on this one? Am I being unusually and unnecessarily severe? Well, I assure you that this is not my advice. I didn’t make it up; it is clear instruction from the Word of God. Don’t believe me? Well, just read the following passage from 1 Corinthians 5. It explains how to treat a Believer who continues in unrepentant sexual sin.

1 Corinthians 5

In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when you are gathered together, along with my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, deliver such a one to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus. Your glorying is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? Therefore purge out the old leaven, that you may be a new lump, since you truly are unleavened. For indeed Christ, our Passover, was sacrificed for us. Therefore let us keep the feast, not with old leaven, nor with the leaven of malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

I wrote to you in my epistle not to keep company with sexually immoral people. Yet I certainly did not mean with the sexually immoral people of this world, or with the covetous, or extortioners, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. But now I have written to you not to keep company with anyone named a brother, who is sexually immoral, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or an extortioner—not even to eat with such a person. For what have I to do with judging those also who are outside? Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges. Therefore “put away from yourselves the evil person.”

No wonder I say, “Sex Can Wait.” It has to wait. This is not an option. There is no choice.

But we are not left simmering in continual sexual frustration with perpetually unfulfilled desires. There is a simple, natural, enjoyable solution. God has provided at least one “way of escape.” That is why I can say with confidence to young people and adults as well, “Sex Can Wait; Masturbate.”

If the church would stop ignoring the blatant sexual sin of its members, and openly advocate that people, especially young people, engage in regular solo sex, things would be so much better.


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