The Limitations of Solo Sex

Vitruvian Man, 1492, Leonardo DaVinci’s sketch of a naked man.For many of us there is no debating the blessings of Solo Sex. Through masturbation we can better control our sexual desires and take care of our own needs when our spouse is unwilling, unable, or unavailable. We can pleasure ourselves, improve our sense of well being, and simply have a good time. After all, who doesn’t enjoy an orgasm?

But as thankful as we may be for this wonderful provision from God we must admit that it does have its limitations. Especially when compared to spousal sex.

Solo sex can be lonely.

Solo sex only partially satisfies.


Touching, caressing, and stimulating oneself to orgasm can never be as enjoyable as having your body touched, your genitals caressed, your penis stroked by a loving wife. And whether you orgasm through (oh joy of joys!) the gift of intercourse or by means of her manual or oral stimulation, it is always so much better than flying solo. Skin on skin as our penis is enveloped by the delicious warmth of our beloved’s vagina. The pure delight of not just imagining a woman’s body, or even looking at an image, but our hand on an actual buttock, our mouth on an actual breast. Being able not just to receive pleasure and delight but to give it as well, experiencing the sight and sound of her erotic response. Becoming one in body, soul, and spirit – who would not prefer that?

Toys, Toys, and More Toys

Some of us buy toys, one after another. I know that I do. Toys with which we stroke; toys that stroke for us; toys that vibrate; toys that are anatomically correct. Many use visual stimulation; pictures and/or video of varying degrees of explicitness. We are trying, trying very hard to make solo sex as good as it can be. But the simple truth is that no matter how great our solo sex experience can become it will always be lacking one important life giving thing, the touch of another human being.

So yes, let’s continue to enjoy all that masturbation gives to us. Enjoy it, but do so acknowledging the simple reality that solo sex is not the-be-all and the-end-all of our sexuality. It has its place, but its place is and always will be limited.



Feedback welcomed.