Blessings and Benefits of Solo Sex

Vitruvian Man, 1492, Leonardo DaVinci’s sketch of a naked man.Once you get past the antiquated and unbiblical notion that there is something strange or sinful about Solo Sex it becomes clear that it can be a wonderful blessing, with many benefits. While it is true that you may experience a benefit that I do not some of the good things about masturbation are applicable to all. This is especially true for the single.

The Pursuit of Pleasure

Everyone who has masturbated knows that both the process and the conclusion are extremely pleasurable. This in itself is enough cause us to do it one feels the urge. After all, legitimate pleasure is a very good thing; a wonderful gift from God. You need no other reason or justification. You don’t have to wait until you feel an overwhelming urge, or biological necessity, or a desire to reduce the amount of temptation you feel. No, it can simply be that you want a few minutes or more of solitary sensual enjoyment so you make a date with yourself and masturbate.

The Reduction of Temptation, Avoiding Immorality

But even if you do it just for the fun of it the truth is there are many benefits. Masturbation will reduce the amount of sexual tension and temptation you face day by day. In the movie “What About Mary?” the lead character was advised to masturbate before going out on a date rather than go into a tempting situation with a “loaded gun.” Very good advice if you ask me. Going on a date with a reduced urge to merge will aid in the important process of developing of a friendship first. I would recommend this as a matter of course for Christian young people.

If people, the young especially, would masturbate instead of committing fornication it would reduce immorality, prevent unwanted pregnancies, and eliminate sexually transmitted diseases.

Readily Available

While spousal sex is more enjoyable, solo sex is more available. You are not left to the whim or the libido of your marriage partner.

Decreasing Frustration and Distraction

Sometimes, if it has been a while since you had an orgasm, the buildup of seminal fluid can make a man feel like he is going to burst. Those who believe they have to wait for wet dreams are at a distinct disadvantage. There are times when you haven’t ejaculated in a few days that it can be hard to concentrate on anything else. And for those who go weeks, maybe even months, it can be especially difficult and distracting. Masturbating clears the pipes and can clear the mind, helping a young man get on with the rest of his day with a greater sense of peace and relaxation. If for no other reason than personal productivity, it is a good thing to pleasure oneself to orgasm.

Prostate Health

Some of us are getting older and discovering that one of the consequences of aging may be prostate problems. If you have Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH), which is basically just an enlarged prostate, a full prostate can make it difficult to empty a full bladder. Ejaculation temporarily reduces the size of the prostate which aids in urination.

Personal Affirmation

There are times when the emotional benefit from solo sex is as great as the physical. In sex we make love to our spouse; in solo sex we make love to ourselves. It can be a wonderful affirmation of our personhood to masturbate. It is saying I am worthy of this private pleasure, and I can be good to myself. This is my body, these are my urges, this is the pleasure it can give me, and these things are very, very good.

Improved Social Skills

The Word of God tells us to love our neighbor as we love ourselves. Those who are free to express sexual self-love are often better able to relate socially. The better you feel about yourself the better you treat other people.

Contemplation and Intimacy with God

Making love to our spouse can be a very spiritual God blessed experience. Many couples say that they experience God’s pleasure along with their own when they are enjoying His gift of the ultimate embrace. Lovemaking becomes a time of worship.

If masturbation is pure and good and as much a gift from God as is marital intimacy it only stands to reason that the same thing would apply. Our times of masturbation can be meditative; our solo sex can be a time of contact with the Spirit of Almighty God. In fact, there are times when, in the middle of private prayer men, especially the young, have suddenly found themselves very aroused and very erect. This is not “a temptation of the enemy.” Rather, this is a spontaneous gift from God to be enjoyed. This is a moment to masturbate to orgasm and praise God for both the pleasure felt and the release enjoyed.

Self Knowledge

When you self stimulate you get to know yourself in a way like no other. You learn how your body responds to touch and stimulation. You know what kind of pleasure it can bring you. You discover more of whom and what you are. These things are very, very good. Sex is a knowing of your spouse; solo sex is a knowing of yourself.

Better Marital Sex

The self knowledge that comes through masturbation, especially premarital, is a wonderful way to prepare for marriage itself. It is much better to enter the holiness of the bridal chamber prepared with some knowledge of your own sexual functioning. It is hard to communicate to your spouse what you do and do not enjoy if you don’t have a clue about it yourself.

Assisting Sleep

As anyone who has lain awake at night with insomnia, or in a state of sexual frustration, having a good wank reduces stress, released beneficial chemicals into the blood stream, and can be a wonderful way to prepare for a good night’s sleep.

A Declaration

For me Solo Sex is also a definitive declaration that I do not need to submit to the doctrines of men who impose extra-Biblical rules on unsuspecting saints. For me this is a major benefit. Both Jesus Christ and the Apostle Paul denounced those who forced unnecessary rules and restrictions on God’s people. Paul even went further than that. He rebuked those who submitted to such ungodliness.

Colossians 2: 20 – 23 “Therefore, if you died with Christ from the basic principles of the world, why, as though living in the world, do you subject yourselves to regulations— “Do not touch, do not taste, do not handle,” which all concern things which perish with the using—according to the commandments and doctrines of men? These things indeed have an appearance of wisdom in self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body, but are of no value against the indulgence of the flesh.

When leaders tell us
not to handle or
touch ourselves sexually,
they are imposing
their own rules,
not God’s.

When leaders tell us not to handle or touch ourselves sexually, they are imposing their own rules, not God’s. It seems like “wisdom,” but it is merely “self-imposed religion, false humility, and neglect of the body,” and no good can come of it. Your body was designed by God to want pleasure and sexual release, and here you are instead submitting to man’s dictates and neglecting the body God gave you; even declaring that your natural God given inclinations are wrong. And we do so with a desire to curb the “indulgence of the flesh.” It would be better to save that energy to resist something worthwhile, like that extra piece of chocolate cake.

In fact, to those who refrain from masturbation simply because they have been told to St. Paul would say, “Why do you submit to this man made regulation? Repent of having done so and come into freedom.”

When I masturbate I do so in the Presence of God and all the company of heaven and declaring to the enemy who would kill, steal, and destroy, “No, I will not submit to this foolish doctrine of men. This is my body and I will treat it good, and enjoy the pleasure it can give me; in Jesus’ name. Amen!” These acts of masturbation are powerful affirmations of liberty and mighty declarations of truth.

Solo Sex in Marriage

Of course, solo sex is not just good for singles. Married people can benefit from it as well. Sure, spousal sex is, for the most part, to be preferred over solo. And married people have a God given responsibility to be attentive to each other’s sexual needs. But, there are times when circumstances and situations hinder this. And not every Christian spouse feels as compelled as we would like to minister to their mate in this way, or as often as would be good. Things happen; people are imperfect; few Christian marriages measure up to the godly ideal.

Thank God the married person whose sexual needs are not, and are not going to be, met within the marriage bed, does have recourse. They can masturbate. Let’s look at some of the circumstances where this is appropriate.

Refusal to Have Sex

There can be many reasons why a person refuses to have sex with their spouse. We know that the Word of God advises frequent marital sex (1 Corinthians 7:5), but sadly this does not always make any difference. Some spouses are not going to do it, and that’s just the way it is. As a minister I say a number of unhappy marriages where a men found himself in the sad situation of being married to a very difficult woman (I am avoiding the “B” word here) who rations her sexual favors out of sheer meanness, disobedience to God, and a lack of love for her mate. When such a man is continually denied, it puts him in a very difficult and vulnerable situation. And if he believes it is wrong to self gratify it compounds the issue. This is a time in which it would not just be permissible but wise to masturbate.

Different Sex Drives

The marriage of a man with a strong libido and a woman with a weak one, or visa versa, has the potential to be an unhappy affair. He wants sex at least four times a week, and once or twice a month satisfies his multi-orgasmic wife. What can they do? Some have “full meal deal” sex when the wife wants it, and quickies in between for the husband’s benefit. Or the wife can give the husband a hand job, which is always more enjoyable than self service.

This advice is all well and good, but for some couples this plan doesn’t work as well as it should. This is a good time for the man to masturbate to even things out and not bother his wife quite as much, especially if his wife really doesn’t want to be the sole source of her husband’s sexual outlet. And we can advocate or even insist on the ideal and discuss the oughts and shoulds of marital intimacy, but there are times when humans are less than perfect, less than whole, and less than willing. So we do what we need to do, and make life work as best we can.

A Sick Spouse

When we get married we vow to be faithful to each other “in sickness and in health, till death do us part.” In healthy times our sex life together can be wonderful. But there are times when sickness invades our little world and everything falls apart. It can bring death to what once was a very wonderful marital sex life. What then? Is our faithfulness to our marriage vows during difficult times to be punished by ongoing and continual sexual frustration? It will not be as fulfilling as full spousal sex, but how much better to masturbate and at least have a solo sex life.

A Very Busy Life

In spite of all of our technology and conveniences modern life can be full of hurry, worry, and scurry. It can be extremely difficult to keep up with it all. While this is certainly not the ideal, and if at all possible plans need be made to do something about it, a couple’s sex life can really suffer due to their over busy pace of life. Masturbation can be a big help in this situation. But a couple really does need to make their intimate life a priority.


Sometimes a couple is apart for days at a time. We are living in a global village and many people are very mobile for work or even social reasons. Whatever the reason there is no need to be in a state of sexual starvation. Masturbation is a perfectly legitimate way to take the edge off until you can be back together again. In fact, because Solo Sex is decidedly less satisfying that the full body to body, soul to soul, spirit to spirit experience of spousal lovemaking it make the reunion even sweeter by comparison.

In Conclusion

God gave us our sexuality to be a help to all of life, not a hindrance. Approaching masturbation from a positive Biblical mind frame can go a long way toward making it so.




America Medical Association Study on Masturbation.

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