Legitimate Boundaries

Vitruvian Man, 1492, Leonardo DaVinci’s sketch of a naked man.So, here’s the way I see it. First, Solo Sex is a wonderful gift from God to be freely and frequently enjoyed. Second, it may also be legitimate to use erotic materials as an aid to our sexual excitement during self stimulation. Third, the warnings of those who say anyone who does so is in danger of a quick slide down a long slippery slope into moral degeneracy are unfounded, at least for the majority of us. Whether in matrimony or in masturbation very, very few who experiment with variety go off the rails.

Having said all of that I think I should also acknowledge that whether our sex life is spousal, or solo, or a bit of both, there are some legitimate boundaries. The Act of Marriage is meant to be one man, one woman, united for life, enjoying each other body, soul, and spirit, in a joyous celebration of sensuality. But I know some whose explorations have included other things, illegitimate things, things like bringing others into their times of sexual enjoyment. This is clearly going beyond what God intended.

Beyond What God Intends

So it is with those of us who exercise the liberty of sex-with-oneself, and who on occasion do something different to keep it fresh, and make it work. We too must not go beyond what God intends. For example, within marriage a husband may enjoy receiving a “full body massage,” that ends in manual stimulation and orgasm. Such a thing may be a “special treat.” But I believe it goes beyond the clear will of God to have someone with whom you are not married give you a “massage to completion,” i.e. a massage that finishes with, to put it plainly, a hand job. Solo sex is meant to be just that, solo.

There are general boundaries that apply to all of us. For the most part they are clearly delineated in the Word of God. Then there are boundaries that God lets us know are specific to us as individuals. Some things may be a delight to our neighbour, but they are a danger to us. We each need to inquire of the Lord as to the limits He has imposed on our own life, and also understand from the Word of God those He has placed on us all.

Most of us who engage in Solo Sex simply are in no grave danger of becoming deranged and demonized sexual addicts, or perverts. But let’s not be so presumptuous or arrogant as to totally dismiss the warnings of the opponents of masturbation out of hand.

It is safe to proceed. It is wise to do so with caution.



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