Masturbation, Erotica & Addiction
One of the criticisms leveled at those who engage in Solo Sex, especially if they use erotica as an aid to masturbation, is that it takes more and more explicitness to achieve the same result. We are warned that eventually a masturbator will progress (or regress, if you will) from using mild stimulation to consuming hard-core porn. Ultimately he will end up in immoral, depraved, even illegal situations. Some writers seem to declare that this road to ruin is inevitable for every masturbator.
I admit that there are certainly those for whom this may be a potential problem; I have heard their dramatic testimonies. But I contend that for most this is simply not true. In fact, those cases are few and far between.
Consider these simple truths: most men masturbate; most men use some kind of erotica when they masturbate; most men are not immoral degenerates living “in the gutter.” These things being true experience tells us that the use of erotica as an aid to masturbation poses very little real danger, for most men.
We Need Variety
Whether in marriage,
or in masturbation,
we all need to
do something occasionally
to spice it up.
But do we human beings require more and more and escalating decrees of stimulation to achieve the same results? It is a legitimate question. The answer is, no, not exactly. But we do need variety, whether just in our erotic imagination, or in the use of actual images.
But this is not just true of those who engage in Acts of Masturbation, it is also true for those who engage in the Act of Marriage as well. After all, why else do so many men love to buy their wife new lingerie? Why does going to a new environment, such as away to a motel or cottage, or better still, a trip to an exotic location, put a new spark to an old flame? Why do people try different sexual positions and techniques? It is simply that making love in the same position on the same days of the week at the same time month after month, year after year gets boring, and boredom sounds a death knell to one’s libido. Having regular sex is essential. And having sex the exact same way every time may be better than nothing, but it is certainly not best. Whether in marriage, or in masturbation, we all need to do something occasionally to spice it up.
That is why Playboy puts out a new issue each month. For those who use the erotic nudes in that magazine as an aid to masturbation, the fresh new images add a spark to the enjoyment, and make what can be difficult to initiate, or finish, much easier to do (this is just an observation, not a recommendation.)
Making Love to our Spouse
In marital lovemaking many happy couples experiment with lotions, read books and learn new techniques, and communicate well.
“I really like it when you . . .”
They let their spouse know what works best on any particular day.
“There, that’s it. Over just a bit. Oh yes, oh yes, don’t stop, don’t stop. That’s wonderful!”
The truly adventurous may even incorporate sensual toys into the holiness of their bedroom. All of this is well and good. Nothing here violates the sanctity of the inner sanctum. What is of mutual consent between loving spouses is blessed by God.
Making Love to our Self
In making love to ourselves we can experiment as well.
- There are numerous “toys for boys” (and even more for girls!) on the market today. Thirty years ago they might have been little more than crude ineffective rip-offs (I know; I bought a few.) Today many of them are excellent, well designed and constructed and quite effective for the purpose. Things like the Fleshlight, with a variety of different inserts, can add greatly to the experience.
- And we can vary our routine, time of day, position, and the stroke we use when pleasuring ourselves.
- For those who feel the use of erotica is a legitimate and pleasurable aid, they can have a variety to the mix, including in their collection anything they feel God allows them to use.
Hey, Solo Sex is a gift from God meant to be freely enjoyed to the fullest. Come on, live a little. Celebrate your sexuality. Make your Solo Sex experience all it can possibly be.
And yes, we do agree there are, sadly, some people for whom Solo Sex does become a problem. For those with addiction issues, emotional problems, or self destructive tendencies masturbation and all that it can involve can become a trap and a snare of Satan. They spiral down from the pinnacle into the pit. If you are in that small minority who are addicted or acting inappropriately, by all means do get help.
But people also develop the same problems with other legitimate things in life – food, prescription drugs, shopping; you name it (even religion). Just because some have a problem we do not need to forbid their use for all.
Relax, and Enjoy
For most of us there is absolutely no need to fear that we will go over the edge. That is just not the way that we are wired. So again, I encourage you to relax . . . experiment . . . have fun . . . and enjoy God’s wonderful gift of Solo Sex! I promise you will be glad you did.